Live Sent.

I grew up in the Church ever since I can remember. As a kid I dreaded going and was bored throughout the service, week after week. The best part was coloring on the bulletins. Literally. But when I hit the age of about ten, I think I started to actually listen to what the Pastor was saying. I began to realize I really liked this Church thing and this guy named Jesus was kind of cool. I mean He could save me? Me? #wut. Shortly thereafter, I went to my Pastor and asked to be baptized. I felt like I was at the point where I wanted to accept Jesus into my heart and be saved by Him, but imagine these thoughts in the mind of a ten year old. Now I find it special looking back on it after all these years, because I was baptized on Easter Sunday. At the time, I wasn't able to recognize what a powerful day it was to commit myself to Christ. 

Once I was old enough, I went through confirmation and made some close friends that were interested in the same things I was. A little later in middle school, like 8th grade, I signed up for a retreat our youth group was taking, called Breakthrough, with my friend Kaissling. In other words, our moms wanted us to meet kids at church so they forced us to go. We were both nervous because we weren't really close to anyone in our youth group, due to its extreme clique-i-ness. I was personally nervous that everyone was going to know more about God than me, and that it would be awkward for me when everyone was in deep thought or conversation and I wouldn't know what to say. After a few nights on the trip, there came a night I will never forget. My Church had our own little meeting one night after worship, to talk about the trip so far. A boy named Chris Shaw stood up and poured out his feelings to our entire youth group, fearless. With tears in his eyes, he expressed how he so badly wanted to feel the love of Christ that he had been observing and hearing about the entire week. He just didn't understand why everyone else had this awesome relationship and he didn't. He wanted so badly to be able to confidently say he knew what Christs love felt like, and told us just how much he would give to even know that feeling. I sat there crying, knowing exactly how he was feeling. I wanted the same exact thing. I was thirsty for this love that everyone was talking about. Yes, I had been baptized and confirmed but I didn't feel that deep connection that I was yearning for. 

After that trip I focused on building my relationship with Christ by teaching myself Scripture and trying to absorb as much knowledge as I could, like a sponge! My personal time with Christ grew enormously and I started to finally feel like I was doing something right. My junior year of high school I felt an urge to go on a mission trip my school was offering to New Orleans. This is where I learned what "Living Sent" really looked like. We were made to live beyond ourselves. In John, Jesus says, "As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you." I Live Sent as a letter from God to culture sharing the same message He has delivered along- "I love you. I am near. Follow Me." 

When I was a senior, I joined the Spiritual Life Committee at my high school. We planned devotionals for every Friday to be given in front of our student body. What shocked me was that there were only about 15 students on the committee, out of over 200 kids that attended a Christian school. #wut. When it came time for me to give a devotion, I didn't want to do it. My friend Malone promised to do it with me and finally convinced me to say what the heck, okay. After preparing a PowerPoint and my notes, Malone didn't come to school the day we were giving our devotional. What the actual heck. I was now that much more nervous that I was going to have to get up in front of my peers and faculty and express my love for Christ. This was the largest amount of people I had ever spoken to on a topic of this particular nature. I talked with God about how I really didn't want to do it, but He pushed me forward. I gave the devotion and although I was nervous, I looked out and saw the love in the eyes of my friends who I had spiritual connections with, knowing just by the looks in their eyes that they were proud to call me a sister in Christ. After giving the devotion, I was on fire for the Lord. After that day I devoted my senior year to becoming more comfortable and secure in who I was as a Believer. Constantly working on this brought me the peace and confidence that I had never experienced before. I was fortunate to grow up in a town that was crawling with Christians. This was great for me because I always had someone to turn to, my friends and parents being my main support system. They held me accountable for my actions and acknowledged the strides I was making as a child of God. 

As I began my freshman year at TCU, I was determined to show Christ in myself to the new people that I met. My goal was to surround myself with people whom I admired and wanted to be like. A defining moment in my Faith that year was one night when I went to our Monday night contemporary service, Ignite. They screened a documentary called Beware of Christians. Seriously check it out, best docu ever. It showed four college guys from Texas, backpacking through Europe as Christians. Their goal was to find out what it looks like to leave Religion, and follow Jesus. The people they encountered and the views of Christianity and touchy subjects opened my eyes and encouraged me to spread His Word in as many places that I can, just like these four guys had done half way across the World. 

At Ignite my sophomore year, the pastor had us all close our eyes and told us to imagine Christ dying on the cross and then coming back to life three days later and He looks at you and says, "go out and live as if I am with you always, which I am." This rocked me. The vivid imagery literally blew my mind. So, this is what I want to do with this awesome gift we are given called Life. Spread God's word to anyone who will listen because He is always with us. 

You can't stay where you are and follow God. 

Live Sent, 
Courtney